Surat Perakuan Nikah Hilang? Keep calm and go to Pejabat Agama (where your calmness WILL be tested)

For Muslims who are married in Malaysia, you all would know what I’m talking about when I say Surat Perakuan Nikah. It’s basically the marriage certificate. I got married in Selangor so apparently the certificate is A4 size and purplish in color. I say apparently because I’ve never seen it. MrNordin has a vague recollection of it as he was the one who went to Shah Alam with the Surat Perakuan Nikah (lets call it Surat, shall we?) to register and process our Kad Nikah (Marriage Card). I was too happy, sailing away on the SS MarriedBliss to notice that there is a surat to begin with.

So what’s the difference between Surat Perakuan Nikah and Kad Nikah? It both proves that we are married – no? So both should be valid anywhere, correct?

Nopes.

Firstly, let me tell you what the Kad Nikah is for. It’s basically for you to not get mistaken as horny non-married people doing naughty things in dark spaces. Well, in Selangor anyways. If you get caught in, say, Seremban or Perlis – not too sure if flashing your Kad Nikah around will get you a do-not-go-to-lokap-card lah.

Jais 1

 

So what is the Surat for then? It’s for everything else that you need to get by in this life. It’s the form HR wants when changing your status from Single to Happily Married. It’s what the Pejabat Agama wants a copy of when you apply to go for the pilgrimages of Umrah or Hajj. It’s required when you want to register your kid for school (although I have NO IDEA what my marital status has got to do with my kids’ right to education but wokeyyyyyy).

It doesn’t matter that the Kad Nikah comes after the Surat. You can’t apply for the Kad Nikah without the Surat Nikah. For all intents and purposes, if you lose your Surat Nikah, you might as well start creating your profile on Tinder.

So, what should you do to get a copy of your Surat Perakuan Nikah?

For people who got married in Selangor —> this is important because other states have different rules and procedures<— here are the steps :

  1. Go to the EXACT SAME Pejabat Agama that you registered your marriage at and that issued you the original Surat. I repeat : THE EXACT SAME Pejabat Agama. I cannot stress how important this is as to not waste anyone’s time. I was at the Pejabat Agama for only 30 minutes and there were 4 people who went there for nothing because they were at the wrong Pejabat Agama due to various reasons.
  2. Bring along with you these 3 things :

(a) one copy of your IC (front & back, either spouse’s IC is fine)

(b) a letter called Surat Akuan Sumpah, signed and stamped by a Commissioner of Oath, stating that you declare the Surat as gone with the wind. Cost : RM10

(c) RM30 (JAWI charges RM10 je hokayyyy. Just sayin’)

  3.  Fill in the form given by the Pejabat Agama

4.  Give items #2 and #3 back to the person behind the counter

5. Keep calm and wait ONE MONTH. Which is ironic because for divorce papers it takes a mere 3 days. But to prove that I am married takes a wee while longer.

You won’t find steps #2(a), #2(c) and #5 on the website. Check out the screen grab that I have below from their website. You’re welcome.

Jais 3
That’s all they wrote

If the Commissioner of Oath office happens to be a walkable distance from your Pejabat Agama, then congratulations! Due to my sheer refusal of having to take more than 1 day to settle anything related to government, religion or banking, I took an Uber to the nearest CoO office which was an RM4 Uber ride away. Then Ubered my way back to the Pejabat Agama, took another number, joined the que and submitted all my documents in one shot.

The makcik behind the counter gave me a small receipt (it was the size of a movie ticket stub) that had my case number and the Pejabat Agama’s number on it. She told me to call in a week to check on the progress. I was about to leave when the makcik said :

Dik, kita nak pindah office ni. 20 haribulan nanti.

Oh…ok. Jadi saya nak call nombor apa makcik kalau nak tau status permohonan saya?

Entahlah dik. Masih tak ada nombor baru. Yelah, office baru…

<insert gun to the head emoji here>

Sadaqallahulazim…..

Well, what bothered me the most during my 30 or so minutes in total that I spent at the Pejabat Agama are :

  • The people who work there are highly lacking in tact. Which boggles my mind because you work for a religious department that prescribes a religion that highly values good manners, privacy and good old tact. Let me break it down for you : you’re given a number and you join a que. But sometimes someone gets called back, right? So why don’t you just call out the number or just the name of the person? Instead the makcik had to pekik in a few decibels higher than she had to like this :

YANG CERAI TADI TU MANA???? YANG CERAI TU??? 

The poor girl who was filing for divorce had to shuffle up to the counter with a red face. I don’t think that was necessary. I understand the people who work at the Pejabat might be desensitized as they face these kind of cases everyday, but a doctor or a nurse who sees death a few times a day doesn’t come up to a deceased’s next of kin and shouts “Ni tadi yang ayah mati tu kan?” or “You’re the one whose son just kicked the bucket huh?”

Permohonan Cerai Online
You can now file for divorce online – no more makciks shouting at you. Hooray!

Sign board ZON MENUTUP AURAT berlambak, tapi tak de lah pulak signboard ZON TAK GUNA ADAB

  • Also, EVERYTHING IS STILL IN PAPER FORM. I’m not kidding. When they asked me when I got married and I replied, the person started to shake her head slowly. I was married 6 years ago. Which means they have to find the physical box where my file is residing in. There were rows and rows of boxes stuffed with paper. Nothing is digitized, nothing is centralized. God forbid the place gets flooded or razed by fire. The whole of Selangor will be in a state of unmarriedness.

So that’s my experience at the Pejabat Agama today. Sekian. Hope you find the steps useful.

To those newlyweds and oldyweds, please keep your Surat Perakuan Nikah in a safe place, remember the place and you may live happily ever after.  

Saya nak register kahwin.

Ok tinggal dekat mana, dik?

bla bla bla Melewar

Ohhhh Melewar tu KL. Kena pergi pejabat agama KL

Hah? Tapi alamat saya Selangor.

Mukim?

Mukim Selangor.

Masjid terdekat apa nama?

Masjid? Errrr Masjid XYZ ada, Masjjid QRS ada

Tu KL tu.

Tak. Saya memang duduk di Selangor.

Ok bayar cukai pintu dekat mana?

Makcik, benda ni berdasarkan cukai pintu ke? Itu penentunya?

Ye

Habis tu kenapa tanya alamat saya, tanya mukim, tanya masjid terdekat? Kenapa tak tanya dari awal BAYAR CUKAI PINTU DEKAT MANA? 

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